Real Talk | Instagram 101

Real Talk

My brother texted our family group-chat the other week while he was at work asking us "is my Instagram good or like not really?" Sadly for him I'd say it falls somewhere in between. My Instagram on the other hand is FIRE. Perhaps not, but I'm so down to give y'all some unsolicited advice on the subject. I think Instagram is the closest thing I have to a resume and I get to work at Steve Madden so I suppose I'm doing something right.

 

1. Play to your strengths. I'm a terrible photographer. I'm really not even that proficient at taking a selfie, but I can turn a look on occasion if I do say so myself. Just about every photo I post is a picture I'm in, which is yes totally vain/obnoxious/cool, but it's better than being some pseudo-photographer posting out of focus sunset shots.

 

2. Keep it real. Don't stunt around taking pictures with a car you don't drive. I also know this one girl that takes photos from Pinterest and stuff and reposts with the face cropped out pretending it's her and what not. It's really not to be believed.

 

3. Keep it unreal. OK every rule is meant to be broken, feel free to go full Mariah Carey and post a pic of you casually pushing your kids on the swings at the playground in a full gown. Do the most! Carry hard!

 

4. Give good vibes. In all aspects of life nobody is out here for your negativity. Shed your light, be fun, don't post anything from a hospital bed unless you're holding your newborn.

 

5. No food crap. Unless you are a chef or food critic it is almost unanimously agreed that people don't care what you're eating. I once watched a girl and her friend at Two Hands cafe trying to get the perfect shot of their avocado toast for LITERALLY 5 minutes (I HAVE VIDEO!) before actually eating their food. It was terrible. Side note: Google Martha Stewart food tweets, even she messes this up.

 

6. Be a generous. with the likes Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Also if you are the kind of person who doesn't like things much because you don't want people seeing your activity you have to own it and stop being all sus and fake with your following.

 

7. An unfollow is a shot fired. So many people, myself included if I'm being honest, have apps now that show us who unfollows us. You can't be sly about this and let it be known that an unfollow is a true SLAP. Hit 'em back with your own unfollow - you guys are bout to throw down.

 

8. Give 'em something to hehe about. If you can't laugh at your self, I'll do it for you. Same goes for your selfie.

 

9. Get it right the first time. When I was at Art Basel this year in Miami there was a lot of people including Kim Kardashian coming through with "#artbasil" in their captions. She later caught her mistake but the screenshot lives on. There is also a girl I know who always location tags herself at this fancy hotel and spells the name wrong every time.

 

10. Go for quality over quantity. I post like one really LIT shot a week and nothing else. I'm a nice rare treat on your feed. Your profile as a whole should just be your greatest hits. Finished product, no process shots.

 

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