The week I moved to New York, I somehow ended up at the Ronson sisters' birthday party. Rihanna was there, and at some point, ‘Started From The Bottom’ played. Even though my invite must've been "lost in the mail", I'm pretty sure, in some cosmic way, I belonged there. I might get a lot more invites these days, but I'll always feel like a party crasher at heart. But let it be known: there is a fine line between ending up at the right spot with no real invite and ruining a party no one wanted you at. I once read an article about a toddler's birthday party in Alaska where a bear fell in through the roof and ate all the kids’ cupcakes. That’s HAM, but all around a pretty bad look.
1. SUSS IT OUT BEFORE SHOWING UP
I've definitely worn jeans with a hole in the bum at a party full of suits. The other week I found myself at a teen VOGUE party where I was essentially the only guy and the only person over 16; it was basically a really glam bat mitzvah. Alternatively, this is sort of a rule that is meant to be broken. If you show up looking like a bum, but don't appear embarrassed, it is a solid power play.
2. LIVE A LITTLE
Even if you weren't asked to be, don't hold back on being the life of the party. Be so fun they'll never forget to invite you in the future. Bill Murray once crashed a bachelor party and gave a full speech. Maybe don't do that, unless you're Bill Murray.
3. DON'T FRONT
You don't have to put your lack of invitation on blast, but don't try to impress anyone with an invite that was never yours. Remember how wack that Real Housewives of D.C. couple looked when they notoriously crashed a White House party and still claimed they were invited when it was a huge ordeal?
4. RETURN THE FAVOR
If your buddy brings you along as their +1 to something (even if it ends up being lame) you need to remember them when you get your invite to Drake's birthday.
5. STAY TRUE TO YOUR ROOTS
If you find yourself in the position to help someone else get in once you're already inside, you better not act like that's beneath you.
6. DON'T MIND IF YOU DO
People spend so much money on catering and booze at these events, a lot will inevitably go to waste. DON'T LET THAT HAPPEN. Enjoy every tiny tuna taco and champagne flute you are offered. Once during fashion week last winter I was at a Rag & Bone party at Up & Down, it had been a busy night and I hadn't had a chance to eat yet and was feeling a little bit fashion *weak*, so I went owfffff on the grilled cheeses being passed around. It didn't go unnoticed because I'm pretty sure I was the only one eating.
7. CRASH PARTIES, NOT "INTIMATE GATHERINGS"
In Inception, there is that thing when the dreamer becomes aware that someone is invading their dream and all the people in the dream turn to look at the intruder. Prepare for that if you plan on crashing something with less than 50 people.
8. TAKE IT ALL IN
Enjoy it! Pretending to be bored and blasé at parties is so dumb. I bark at my friends if they try and do that. No one wants to be a part of the sad girls club.
9. NOT EVERY PARTY IS WORTH CRASHING
Remember in Eyes Wide Shut when Tom Cruise thinks he is going to a sexy and mysterious party, but it gets hella dark? That probably won't happen at all, but hey, it could.
10. KNOW WHEN THE JIG IS UP
If in the end, it's clear you don't belong, hit the bricks. There is more to life than silly parties. You'll see Rita Ora another time. Trust me, if there is a PR girl standing outside with the list on an iPad, Rita will be there.